Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Yes- Bacon FTW.
I am making a bacon wrapped turkey for Thanksgiving...winning.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

2011 SLC Undie Run

So much FUN!! I went to this seriously like 45 mins after waking up. Hence the no make- up. I am glad I went though. It was really fun and awesome to see so many people there. We all set a new Guinness world record for the most people to run in their underwear at once. The previous record was 500 something. Enjoy these unflattering pictures!

Me and Chelsea

Pat and Chelsea
UT State Capitol Building
Me and Twiz at the capitol being fat
Jason on a police bike
Travis too...This policeman was letting everyone sit on his bike.
New record!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

God Dammit!

I am officially the last one of my childhood friends to get married. No, don't get confused now. I am NOT, I repeat NOT getting married. All of my friends are now though. Fuck! No wonder I collect dogs. Those broads are busy pushing out kids and planning weddings. I get home from work and spend the majority of my night staring into my empty refrigerator and brushing my cat that I hate, because I hate her.

It's OK, they can have play dates with their kids and double dates with their husbands. I'll be home watching re runs of intervention and crying myself to sleep because I'm 3 years away from being a weird old dog lady. I need to delete my facebook right about now. Its seriously fucking depressing me.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

In reading the posts I have on here from the past its pretty clear that I am way overly obsessed with my weight. I am constantly dieting and working out. I am not a fat person by any means. I am 5'6 and 135 pounds (4 or 5 of which are boobs). No matter how skinny I get I still see nothing but flaws looking back at me in the mirror. I am so obsessed with my weight I seriously weigh myself after I use the bathroom. Its so dumb. Last winter I got down to 128 (I was also a very unhealthy raging alcoholic) and now that I am 7 pounds more I am kind of freaking out about it. There is more to life than constantly comparing myself to other skinnier girls. It seems as if I will not be happy until my thigh's don't touch at all (it is so close!). I need to happy in my own skin, I know this. It's just that saying that and actually doing that are 2 very different things. I recently started to listen to some pod casts that Joe Rogan does, he's really a fascinating person. The guests that he has on and the topics that they discuss make me realize how fucking insignificant my  own personal issues are compared to other things going on and other peoples problems. It made me feel like a dick for even caring about how I look when there are 400 pound people out there losing limbs from diabetes and i'm over here in my bathroom obsessing about how 1/4 inch of my thighs are touching and I ate too much last night and my stomach is not completely flat. Get a grip dummy.

I'm going to golf and be grateful that I have the awesome things and the awesome people I have in my life. No matter how bad things get for me there are ALWAYS people who have it way worse!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Monday already :(

Last week seemed to drag so bad and it's already Monday again. At least it's a short week for me, I took Friday off to go to Durango for a rally. I just downloaded the blogger app. Now I can bore you all from anywhere since I'm mostly too lazy to unhook my laptop from my tv and blog in off the non topic here...Another app I really like and have been using a ton is littlephoto. It does this to your pictures. There are tons tons of other settings too. I heart this.

It's thundering and raining right now and I can feel the wind and smell the rain through my open window. I love thunderstorms even though my dogs end up in bathtub because they are scared. It's sooo loud right now and lighting up my room. I wish I could tag a smell on this! This girl is going to sleep really good tonight. Hope you all have a good monday:)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I love my pets ok. I just really am not ok with the amount of hair that covers everything everywhere. I am on the brink of shaving this cat I have. I don't even care for cats, I have this one and don't have the heart to send it to the pound because no one wants a full grown, fat, asshole cat. I need help. Maybe I should just clean more. I have hard wood floors and was looking at them today and about died when I saw how much hair is behind my couch. HELP ME.

I said I would post some pictures of my latest debauchery. 
Worst buffet ever EVER

Watch the one in  yellow
Had to drug Jason by the end of the night.....

Chicken Dinner?

Monday, August 15, 2011

booze and strippers


This was an expensive weekend.
I went to Nevada with the gheys. It was pretty fun. I have pictures but they are better left off of this blog. Long story short I ended up having to drug poor Jason to get him back in the car. I have never had anyone give me a weirder look... maybe I shouldn't have tossed a xanax in his jack at the bar?

I have been taking some pole fitness classes since p90x is fucking boring. I will say those work the hell out of you! I am buying a pole for my house next week. One of the girls who was with my friend this weekend is a stripper and said she has had no pole training at all.... shes a damn liar ok.

I will post pictures, but not now since my job went and blocked all useful websites.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Oh hai! I don't know if you have noticed but almost all of my images have been deleted, how awesome. I have google+ to thank for it. Not a fan.

I thought I post about my p90x progress. I never have really liked working out. I really would rather go get a filling than work out for 2 hours. I have been sticking to this though. Is it hard..yes. Does it make you sweat....YES. After the first week it started to suck because I had seen the first week so I knew what I was in for everyday. I had to stop weighing myself as well. You do not lose weight right away w this. I can definitely see a difference in my body though. It seems way tighter and my clothes (and underwear) are starting to fit better. Finding the motivation to do it everyday is hard :(

Monday, July 18, 2011

Superman Banana

P90X = fuck your life on a cellular level. I hurt in places I didn't even know existed. Today is my 6th day doing it and holy shit.... its really hard...and I look totally goofy doing this shit in my living room. If I ever get some ab definition ill be sure and let you know to do this workout....if not.....then i guess I quit drinking for nothing!

Friday, July 8, 2011


I fucking love my boyfriend are a few reasons.

It is the day before my b day and I get flowers at work and he took me to lunch....pretty nice...made my day pretty swell.

Then I get home from work and am taking a nap and I wake up to a new Clarasonic which I have been wanting so SO bad but haven't had the money to buy it. I can't believe I have this and cannot wait to see how much better my skin is going to look a week from now!!

On top of that he bought me a new dog earlier this month which was suppose to be my b day present.

I feel really spoiled right now. Im lucky to have such great people in my life. I love birthdays as well :)

Friday, July 1, 2011


Right before he bit my face.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy birthday to me!

I went to the store for some food and left with a dog named Tony instead. This happens too often... I go to a store for one specific item and leave with everything I didn't intend to buy. This shopping pattern has resulted in a cut up credit card. Good Job Ju!

He really is the devil.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Nerd Love / Bromance

Its spreading like wildfire, in the words of Nikki.

I'm holding back some serious laughter right now. "If I wasn't married i'd be buying you flowers every single day"...Really dude? REALLY?

I feel really bad for any girl that works here because they get smothered by nerdy guys ALL day long.

Thank god when I started here half the tools in this shed weren't working here.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


I stopped and bought this on my way home from work last night.

It is the Shatter Polish by OPI. I fucking love this stuff. They have about 6 colors so I got black and white.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Okey dokey doggie daddy

I haven't been posting on here much as i've been busy killing my liver and watching a ton of movies.

I watched true romance again last night. Christian Slater is so super hot in that movie. I will probably watch it again 100 times before I get sick of it again.

Finally broke down and bought the Naked Palette by Urban Decay...
it was worth every penny!! I hate it that I walk into Ulta with the intention of buying a top coat of nailpoilsh and I leave with 70 dollars worth of make up... I have a problem!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Thank you JAYSUS! It's Friday... which means that this is the last day of the week I have to hear ol' brainless to the right say things like "Uhhhhhh and Oohhhhhh" anytime anyone asks her something. This girl seriously sounds like Fran Drescher and its killing me - every day a little piece of me dies everytime I hear her stupidity. She just sucked me into the S-hole  for like 10 minutes about how much she loves my diet. I recently had a very unflattering picture of me eternalized online on my place of business's new website. I look like a fucking lunchbox (thanks for not doing my any favors you shitty photographer). I have been dieting ever since because i'm vain like that, well that and because I am attending a pool party on Sunday so I want to look good in a swimsuit.

Travis reccomended I watch Bridesmaids last night since there is a scene of a girl shitting in a sink, he thought it would be right up my alley. I have to was pretty funny. Im not gonna lie, it totally made me miss having a close girl friend. Oh well... I always got the booze and my gays.  I would  suggest anyone who likes gross watch that movie.

I want/need this for days like today.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

My poor punkie pie after surgery.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Talk TAlk TALK

Felt the need to brag about your little conquest did ya? You obviously haven't learned that if you say something about someone more than likely it's going to get back to them.

At the end of the day we all make mistakes......very embarrassing ones at that...And that's exactly what that was. A very embarrassing alcohol fueled mistake.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Oh Dear

I party often with my co-workers, some more than others for reasons listed below.

Friday-7 people, 4 bottles of wine, 2 bottles of vodka, a case of beer, and a bottle of pastise.

5 of us could handle our liquor, one passed out, the other was found pantless pissing on the carpet in a spare bedroom on top of the passed out one.

This in addition to the questionable pictures I took made for a very interesting Monday.

On a sad note...I'm missing fucking Danzig tonight...I'll be home all night wishing I was at smelly SaltAir with a bunch of smellier metal heads. Ol Glen will never be as good as he once was though, that's right, I said it. Don't even act like you weren't thinking it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Really dude....

Of all the days I have ever wanted to throat punch you - today was the worst. YOU....who sits there in your overpriced affliction listening to music all day. You realize your job is to talk on the phone to people right? Maybe you aren't quite grasping the full scope of your job after the full YEAR you have had it. It's ok.

I know you're too busy spraying on your Axe and lotioning your tender little hands to give a shit about anything other than your Bob Marley calendar (Please smoke weed so there is a plausible reason for your behavior) but really man......give me a break. If one more of your pissed off suppliers calls me up and verbally rips my asshole out again because your too damn lazy to check and or return your voicemail's....I really don't even know what I will do.

This is why I chain smoke.....because of people like you. I can't take off and go park behind the other office building like you and get high on my breaks...Yeah, that's right. Maybe don't have a giant ass NFL sticker on your car so you can be less conspicuous while getting lit during your work hours? Nope... not me. I'm stuck to smoking my cigarette angrily in the courtyard. That cheap ass spray isn't fooling anyone!

Just sayin.......

Friday, April 15, 2011

Me and Julio down by the schoolyard

This is how I spend my Wednesday.....3 bottles of vodka later...

Sunday, April 10, 2011

1 wolf moon

My furnace has been broken since Friday. My landlord has had 2 people come look at it and here I am on Sunday freezing my ass off and there is no ETA on when it should be fixed. I have some really epic pictures to post about this amazing encounter I had this weekend. It involves a Coors light shirt, jean shorts, and a fucking tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon with a bear in it. This actually happened.

Monday, April 4, 2011


I never got around to posting anything about the color in muh huur. I had it lightened. I like that grown out highlight look. I put another picture of the birds on too now that they are nice and light and maybe kind of prisoney hah!

I just got home from the longest day at work. I'd like to thank 1/2 of the people at Browz for the sick I can feel coming. No really though...Thank you so much. Nothing sounds better than watching season 3 of six feet under and drinking tea all night long :)

Happy b day Dad!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Luck be a lady

Let me start this off by saying the last time I won anything was in 3rd grade, it was a slammer pog (remember those) that I was not there to claim even because I was in the bathroom checking my hair. 

Amy V. who’s blog/ FB/ YouTube channel I follow (in a totally non-creepy way) was kind enough to do a giveaway of Tarte products. What can be better than free shit? Nothing if you’re me, even better if it’s a brand of makeup I love. I'm super happy this very moment because I won! Charlie Sheen calls this 'winning'!

If you read this because you are interested in product reviews/ tutorials then you should click on the links above and check it out…. If you are reading this because you’re a lurker then still click on the links above and have something worthwhile to lurk. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I've noticed a steady decline in the views on this blog since I stopped posting about the total shit mess that was my life 2010. Maybe I am just boring when I'm not a raging alcoholic? I think Monday made up for that. I took a co worker who's having serious marital issues out for an after work drink and it turned into us getting mostly tore up and still drinking at 2 am. Oops. At least I made it to work on time, puffy eyes and all.

I had intentions on making another blog to post these types of posts on and realized I don't have time or a shit to give about it. I was more concerned with who was reading it but ya know what....I don't really care so read away!

Nothing new has really happened since I moved. I love my place still for so many reasons. I didn't really think I would like Sandy but it's actually a really awesome location. I've made peace with my mother after months and months of not talking. My sister forced me to get off at noon on Friday so we can all go have an awkward lunch that will no doubt involve me needing to have many many cocktails to cope with this sort of thing. It's so weird how much things have changed since Danny and David left. We use to all be so close and now it's like were all strangers who get together once a year and eat bad food at Oma's house with my cousins who hate me.

So far this year has been great. I hope that this pattern continues! Summer can't get here fast enough. I can't wait for swimsuit weather. This is the first time in a LONG time that I can not wait to get my much skinnier ass into a swimming suit. I remember trying on suits last year and standing in those horrible mirrors in the dressing rooms that are totally like circus mirrors and anything but flattering, I stood there and cried. I hated my body so much. HCG is the best thing that ever happened to me. I have nothing else to end on so here is a random picture.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Let me see your peacock peacock.

There comes a time in a girl's life when certain things are no longer age appropriate. What I mean by this is that there is a right way and a wrong way to keep up with the Joneses. If you are over 21 you should no longer be wearing frilly shit in your hair, mmmmkay? This means ribbons of any sort, huge flowers mean for 12 year olds on easter, and big ass bedazzled bird feathers that have been glued onto a headband.

Let's see the right way to wear a feather in your hair:


Now here is the wrong way:

Hey - Pay attention to my huge blingy feather.
 With that said...
If this is your thing awesome for you. I personally dont think that wearing ribbons and huge feathers in your hair is for a grown up.

You should all know that I discovered THE best thing to put on your face. I had heard about this from a girl at work and read about it on Makeup Alley. Asprin!!! I have spent so so much money on Pro-active and tried everything under the sun to regulate the moisture on my face. I use 2 asprin in the shower (put a few drops of water on it and let it dissolve) put it on your face for a few, scrub it off with water. Best thing EEVVEERR.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?

I got some new awesome eyeliner. Emphasis on awesome.

It's the Bare Minerals loose powder. I have it in black leather. I will say that the only time I even wear liquid eyeliner is to make my lash line look bigger and I SUCK at using liquid. This is so easy to use and gives the same look (Maybe even better)!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I'm no Martha Stewart

I just play her in your life. I get bored...often. I woke up this morning and decided I wanted new coasters. I went looking online for some cool ones and it seems they are pretty easy to make. These ones kind of look like shit. It was my first try.

I dusted off my guitar and got a stand for it too so I more than likely will take a stab at that again. Both my brothers are such awesome guitar players it makes me so envious.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

De-Potting first attempt

I have been seeing some people posting about a magnetic palette called a Z Palette. I ordered one online right away. Patience is not my virtue - so I started de-potting some of my cheaper eye shadows this morning. This was way easier than I thought it would be. I used the lighter method and it worked just fine. Made my house smell like a crack factory for a while but it was nothing a new Scentsy cube couldn't cover. I used a CD case to put the magnet in. Ghetto I know but this is such a great way to consolidate everything so I have room for even more :)  It's also great because you can group colors together. This will do fine until I get the Z Palette.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Sorry kitty

I moved today finally :) I am so lucky and grateful to have my dad. He is so awesome. He took care of everything. I didn't have to move one box. It feels good in here. All the anxiety and stress that was building up over the past few months all melted away today.

I had my cat spayed and picked her up today. She hates me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Responsibility...what's that?

I don't wanna think about it....we'd be better off without it!! ( Anyone remember that song?)

Urban Decay Ammo Shadow Box....Please be mine. I saw that Nikki has one and I <3<3<3 it. Welcome to being poor Julie. No new palette's for you!

*Nom NOm NoM*

Thursday, February 10, 2011

New Message

No news is good news.....right?

I got this... on a whim. My boss needed someone to get a tattoo with so I went with her. This was the result. Sorry Dad!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I live in a fat kid's dream

Can you tell I have been bored? 2 posts in 1 week!! This one without any pictures even.

The "fuck my life" part of the year is moving right along. I went and re-signed my lease today with my name ONLY on it. This is good. 2 more weeks and it will be just me and my animals. If I can keep myself occupied until then it should go by pretty quickly.

I borrowed FF13 from a much as I hate to say anything bad about a FF game there is not enough play time. It seems like it's all movie. It got some pretty bad reviews as well. Maybe this is why James let me borrow it before finishing?

AAHHHH Danny will be here in 2 weeks YAY! I feel like I should take some time off.... but then I look at what happens to people who miss work. You come back to a total shit mess. How is it that both my brothers end up in California and I am here?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Nothing really matters.....

(Queue Bohemian Rhapsody)
Anyone can see.........but this new TTTTTTVVVVVVV.

OK, plenty else matters! I'm just happy to not watch Netflix on my laptop anymore:) That's right kids, the dawn is your enemy!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

They do exist!!

They do and I wore them to work today. I'm pretty much fucked when skinny jeans aren't in style anymore.

Jeans + Leggings =

 Read this.