Tuesday, September 28, 2010

To anyone who has never golfed.

I highly suggest you try at least once.

We had a company outing and was a golf tournament...SO much fun! I had never golfed before so I got it worked out that I was on my favorite french lady's team. Her and her husband were pretty good. If everyone else played a legit game like we did we totally would have won. It was still an awesome time - anything you can do outdoors that involves drinking in a golf cart can't be that bad! Here are some pictures.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This time i'm SERIOUS

I'm banning myself from the mall!

I have a problem. A spending problem. I get paid and then I get this uncontrollable need to shop. WTF happened to me. I use to hate shopping. I hated malls and stores for girls. I was alright with buying my makeup at Rite-Aid and only went to get new makeup if I needed it...like if my mascara was running low. Now I'm hitting up Sephora 3 times in 1 month. I justify it by having almost none of my clothes fit me since I lost weight. In my mind this is fine. This is it though.........and for real this time.
This is hands down the best concealer on the planet. By benefit -$18. When I put this on my skin was so happy I'm surprised it didn't jump off my face. I feel like the stress from my job shows its self by leaving huge dark circles of sexy under my eyes. Bye bitches!

This cute antique bicycle necklace. Really cheap, but I thought it was cute to match the sweater I bought.

I also got a bottle of OPI• Under my trench coat.The rest is just some jeans (size 5- holla!) and a that helicopter. Nothing too note worthy. Farewell money pit mall. You will be missed.

I get to spend the rest of my evening listing to a piece of shit remote control helicopter. Thank you bearded woman who works at Brookstone for giving me this gift. I have been promising Jeremy one for a while so I caved and bought it. That shit will be broken in less than an hour in sure! Back to the beard though.... what woman who works in public, a mall no less, has a full on fucking beard and doesn't handle that? I literally had to focus on looking her directly in between her eyes to stop myself from staring at her beard. She kept trying to sell me insurance on it and was short with her so I could get the fuck out of there before I started staring....or asking whats going on there.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fuck a hangover

Fuck it even more if its a Thursday and you work in an office. Not only in an office but right in the center of it. I had meetings all day and I looked like a piece of shit with a side ponytail and purple cardigan on. My brain was not sending the correct messages. I ended up sending an e mail about how condescending this girl I work with is to the fucking girl I was talking about. HI! I'm a dumb ass. I don't like her anyways so I don't really care but I thought I should use that as an example of how retarded my day was.

I was up way too late last night sitting in my apartment with Tasha putting down a bottle of vodka and talking shit. We were watching some stand-ups of Lisa Lampanelli. She makes even me blush and the word cunt is part of my daily vocabulary.

I did get home to see my brand new Ozeri digital multifunction scale had arrived. It measures your body fat and water weight percentage in addition to looking cool.

 It's cocktail and curry time. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


I do love this stuff. It's like it says on the bottle...Magic juice for your eyelashes!
Yes, the product is expensive but worth every penny.


This is quite an improvement if you ask me. I'm wearing white liner in the after picture so its a little bit different but there was a huge increase in the volume and length of my lashes over all. I used an eyelash curler before both pictures.

On a completely unrelated subject. My spending habits have got to go. I have been spending mad money on make up and clothes and it's totally retarded. Sometimes I wish I were a hipster so I could just wear my Grandmas hand me downs from the Holocaust and save a ton on new clothes but unfortunately I cant stand the feel of wool. Thank you God for stores like Forever 21 where a girl can be a cheap ass and still dress good.  Thank you Express for your box sales where I can buy absolutely nothing because I don't have an eating disorder (Most times I leave feeling like I should develop one though). I cannot and never will fit into a size 2 pair of jeans. Why I even step foot into that store remains a mystery to me. I think is why I love makeup so much. No matter how hard it is to find clothes to fit your abnormally long torso you can always walk into a makeup store and leave with tons of shit that fit you just right!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

How to start your weekend right

I love Sephora! love LOVE love it. I could literally spend hours in that store and would have no problem dropping 2 bills there. I get goose bumps when I walk in. I had to make it short since dude was with me and I know how awesome that store must be for a man. Since I lost weight I desperately needed new clothes, my old ones looked like a tent on me. I got a few things more than I intended to.......whatever.

Before that I went and had breakfast with my little brother David and my Dad. I haven't seen Davey in about year since he left. I missed him. I have a very tender picture of him at the nursing home visiting Opa. 

I don't know how he got him to do this. I guess ever since he hit his head he's got this huge potty mouth no one ever knew existed. I guess he told my sister someone else in that home is a "mother-fucker". He was a Marine in his day. Poor old guy.... Hes completely emasculated in that place, it breaks my heart to see him. He told me all the young girls in there love to watch him piss his pants.                           
                                                                       What the hell?? 

On to something not so depressing..... I'm making pot-roast. Happy Saturday......Mother-fuckers!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

This is wrong

Both female. It's safe to say my dog is a lesbian.

Sometimes you need a mental health day.......just to ensure you don't physically harm the drama queen (King) at work.  Talk about a shit month. It's like the month of August sucked the life out of the company I work for. Maybe it was opposite month? That's the only reasonable excuse for things I have witnessed there. Really demotivating. I'm hoping things get better in the winter because I'm almost bitter about it all. Not yet but I can see it coming.