Thursday, November 11, 2010

It's time to throw in the towel!!

Let me start of by saying you know your home life is fucked when you get anxiety about going home from work. Quitting time comes around and everyone else is OUT.....I on the other hand stay late because I don't even like being at home.

I come home and let Rox out and spend the rest of my night watching netflix in bed because my boyfriend/roommate is doing 1 of 2 things, sleeping or holed up in his room playing video games. He works graves so we don't see each other much anyways but when I feel like its a chore for him to hang out with me it is not a good thing.

The past year has been total waste.

No matter how much I try and get along, no matter how skinny I get, there is always some lame excuse for why he won't put out or why he doesn't lift a finger. It's hard to keep loving someone and making excuses for someone who is only with you because they "like your companionship" Enough is enough.

When I think about how happy and different my life was before it makes me sad. I think its time to just suck it up and start over and find happiness with myself instead of trying to find it in something that is just broken beyond repair. I have been holding on to the memory of how good things were the first 6 months of our relationship with the thought that things will change- they wont.

2 comments:

  1. :hug:
    quitting on happiness isn't an option... so good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was mad when I wrote this. I am trying not to be bitter.

    ReplyDelete