I've decided to stop giving a shit what people I don't like think of me. I should have done this a looooong time ago. I have been living with anxiety for so long and regrets for things I have done in the past. You know what... I am who I am. Everything in my life happened for a reason, Maybe I had a lesson to learn or a hang over to have. Who knows. All I know is that I have spent WAY too long caring about what people I dont give a fuck think about me. We aren't friends for a reason. Your a piece of shit? Your fake as fuck? You are a user? you bring me down? You may be all of those things to me. You probably are. Fact is my life is fucking awesome. I have awesome friends who would never stab me in the back. Friends who wont say shit to my face then turn around and say the opposite behind my back to try and start shit because .... well i dont know why but its kinda lame. Be real, be yourself....its so much easier than being a dick. I live in a city thats not so huge (increasingly small)... im not ducking around corners to avoid a weird encounter anymore. if you have a problem thats what it is... your problem.

I whip my hiar back and forth

Maybe a little too much?

I went to the Chiropractor yesterday and got some sweet relief. I went home and slept for 12 hours since I have been getting only about 4 a night because I cant get comfortable. I woke up this morning and my shoulder and neck hurt so bad. I have to go again today so well see what the ef is up. I think its messed up from the gym....or excessive amounts of this. Either way this shit needs to be fixed!

Really Julie....

Do you ever have times in your life when you are reminded of something really painful you went through. Things you have totally placed in the back shelf of yoru mind. I have done pretty good about moving on and blocking out a specific time frame when I was 18. I fell completely in love with this dude and it totally turned my world upside down. In the end I ended up more hearkbroken than I ever knew you could be. I was so crushed that it literally hurt my heart. I cried myself to sleep for months (Sorry dad you had to hear all that). So now almost 10 years later.... I am so over it I need a new word for over it. I never ever think about that time in my life, or I had not in years anyways. I even have a dog that I love more than anything from that relationship and it doesnt remind me of him or that time at all. The other day I was at work or somwhere I dont really remember and I saw a street that reminded me of that time. I felt like I got kicked in the stomach. Being dumped is never a memorable experience, Please get back on that shelf where you belong.

Baconstrips&Baconstrips&Baconstrips&Baconstrips

Yes- Bacon FTW.
I am making a bacon wrapped turkey for Thanksgiving...winning.

2011 SLC Undie Run

So much FUN!! I went to this seriously like 45 mins after waking up. Hence the no make- up. I am glad I went though. It was really fun and awesome to see so many people there. We all set a new Guinness world record for the most people to run in their underwear at once. The previous record was 500 something. Enjoy these unflattering pictures!

Me and Chelsea

Pat and Chelsea

UT State Capitol Building

Me and Twiz at the capitol being fat

Jason on a police bike

Travis too...This policeman was letting everyone sit on his bike.

New record!!

Pac-Man

God Dammit!

I am officially the last one of my childhood friends to get married. No, don't get confused now. I am NOT, I repeat NOT getting married. All of my friends are now though. Fuck! No wonder I collect dogs. Those broads are busy pushing out kids and planning weddings. I get home from work and spend the majority of my night staring into my empty refrigerator and brushing my cat that I hate, because I hate her.

It's OK, they can have play dates with their kids and double dates with their husbands. I'll be home watching re runs of intervention and crying myself to sleep because I'm 3 years away from being a weird old dog lady. I need to delete my facebook right about now. Its seriously fucking depressing me.

In reading the posts I have on here from the past its pretty clear that I am way overly obsessed with my weight. I am constantly dieting and working out. I am not a fat person by any means. I am 5'6 and 135 pounds (4 or 5 of which are boobs). No matter how skinny I get I still see nothing but flaws looking back at me in the mirror. I am so obsessed with my weight I seriously weigh myself after I use the bathroom. Its so dumb. Last winter I got down to 128 (I was also a very unhealthy raging alcoholic) and now that I am 7 pounds more I am kind of freaking out about it. There is more to life than constantly comparing myself to other skinnier girls. It seems as if I will not be happy until my thigh's don't touch at all (it is so close!). I need to happy in my own skin, I know this. It's just that saying that and actually doing that are 2 very different things. I recently started to listen to some pod casts that Joe Rogan does, he's really a fascinating person. The guests that he has on and the topics that they discuss make me realize how fucking insignificant my  own personal issues are compared to other things going on and other peoples problems. It made me feel like a dick for even caring about how I look when there are 400 pound people out there losing limbs from diabetes and i'm over here in my bathroom obsessing about how 1/4 inch of my thighs are touching and I ate too much last night and my stomach is not completely flat. Get a grip dummy.

I'm going to golf and be grateful that I have the awesome things and the awesome people I have in my life. No matter how bad things get for me there are ALWAYS people who have it way worse!