Hey bitch, wanna suck on my tooth?

i don't know......

But really. Its Monday. I'm bored and blogging from my phone so i dont care much to punctuate.
I missed circa survive tonight BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I did not skip the gym.

I did make 2 more tattoo appointments for my sleevey.

I did lose 5 lbs ( supplements are working!!!!)

All in all it was still a good day!

I managed to get drunk somewhere in the middle.

Dont be a douche bag

Yes you. Im so over people that have that "my shit doesn't stink" attitude. HI! You're not all that. Or a bag of chips. More like a bag of old stale pretzels that no one wants to eat, unless they are drunk. If you weren't such an asshole i'd actually feel sorry for you.

Yes, right in the mustache

Oh shit son- I haven't posted on this gem of a failblog in a while. Mostly because im the only reader. a little update perhaps? Im still working at Browz. I got promoted to SCA and im pretty happy about that because it came wtih a raise. For the first time in my life I can actually say I really like my job. The only downside is that its in Draper but with any luck I can find a nice condo down there.
Im more than likely going to be buying a condo or a small house this year. How grown up of me right? Im no spring chicken so I figure its time to get my shit together because im obviously not meeting Mr. tall dark rich and handsome any time soon. Im pretty much over that all so much that I have even quit going to straight bars. I have more fun at gay bars, is it just me or is it just that gay people are more accepting of when someone acts like a total shit mess in public? Last night for instance... Felt like I was riding on the back of some super charged horse man, really it was just Dino giving me the scariest piggy back ride of my life 1 full block of sprinting before he fell over and ruined his palms and tore a hole in the knee of my jeans. Good times - Thanks JAM.

In other news I cut off all my hair and got glasses and a huge tattoo... I had an identity crisis.

10 days of no food.

I had this bright idea to do this thing called the Mater Cleanse (Lemonade Diet). This diet consists of 10 full days of no food and only a drink made of spring water, grade b maple syrup, lemons(or limes), and cayenne pepper.

The first thing you do every morning of this cleanse is drink 1 liter of room temperature water with 1 tablespoon of salt. The purpose of this is to clean out whatever crap (literally) that you have in your bowels (**Super gross**). I did this for the fist time this morning and about 15-20 minutes after I had ingested this it came right out. I wouldn't recommend doing before you have to go anywhere. Give yourself a good hour or 2. I started this on the weekend just so i would see how it would effect me (time wise so i know what to expect for the weekdays at work). I think I will start waking up an hour earlier to ensure I don't have any problems.

You drink 6- 12 ten ounce lemonades a day. I had 6 today. I was very surprised to find I had a ton of energy today despite not eating anything at all. It is midnight and im not even hungry. At night you have to drink a Senna tea. Yeah it has the same effect as the salt water flush it just takes longer.

Ill probably post again on day 3 and tell about how fucking hungry I am and how I probably already quit hah.

WORD

To ya motha.... so updates....
Got laid the fuck off WOWIE what a shocker- Its fine I got another job I work way more- what ya gonna do?
Heather moved out-- Jeremy moved in.
Its FINALLY summer- Thank you Jesusssss!!
Im really excited for this summer and the rest of the year.
My life can only get better and already it feels different, its a change im definitely looking forward to!!

Its herpes, but on your face!!

Good news everyone.... I've got the ol' herpes virus!!! HAHA yeah only its the one that you get on your face, all sexy on the corner of my mouth. Its sitting there saying,"Hey boy, you wanna make out??" But seriously, it's the sickest thing ever and im embarrassed to show my face any where.My ears are still all crusty from stretching them to a 2g. Im not doing that again for at least 2 months....AND even better I think its my time for the strep, I really thought I dodged it somehow, I was so impressed with my immune system I was going to get it a gift...untill last night.
ME= sexy lady!
Crusty eared cold-sore having sicky.

Desk Rage

The peak of office employee stress levels which ultimately starts with the screaming of vulgar language within the work place. It can often times lead to assaulting fellow employees, abusing office equipment and/or stealing of company property, abusing sick days and ultimately poor production at work. A possible side effect is that the employee continues to take out his or her rage at their residence in the form of kicking small animals and drinking heavily.

"With my pending at work and the amount of people calling me each day im on the brink of desk rage and one day im going to break and take it out on that weird guy that sits next to me."