Ultra

It's Saturday night. I am home with a baby pug with lethal farts sitting on my lap. This means that I am at home blogging at 9:30 pm on Saturday night. I'm not awesome.

 Jeremy is currently in Elko (MY hometown) enjoying the biker festival. I wanted to go but as I am the only one on the planet apparently that does not have a motorcycle I'm here with this adorable little pup, Michelob Ultra, and a bottle of Xanax. Boy oh boy! I'm not gonna lie I'm really jealous I'm not there since all my Elko friends are telling me how awesome it is and how there is orgy's on bar floors! Great get my boyfriend there STAT. Ugh - fuck you this weekend..... fuck you. At least I have this cute dog to make up for it. She peed on his bed too!

I wake up in the morning feelin' like P- Diddy

Fuck that! I bet P-Diddy doesn't wake up anytime before noon. I woke up at 7 am. 7 AM!!! Stupid job messin' up my sleeping habits. Too early to text Travis to see if he wants to lay out as he is most definitely still drunk and maybe even still awake from last night. He doesn't waste his weekends like me. I was out at 9 pm last night. I fell asleep on a mattress on the floor in the other room. I think it was because I was so disappointed at this lady ruining my food order that I had no other choice but to eat a xanax and drink a beer, then promptly pass out.

I was suppose to meet my dad for breakfast but he wasn't in the mood so I just had this instead. MMMM!

I did make it to the gym today. This guys was there.  His name is Marcus he was on last comic standing and he is fucking  HUGE. By huge I mean ripped like the Incredible Hulk.

This was my first time going to the Murray 24 Hour and I like it a lot better. Almost everything I use is upstairs and its not as busy as the Sugar House one in addition to being within walking distance of my new residence.

Random picutres from my last Las Vegas trip.

There are no words for how drunk I was in this picutre.

 This guy was wearing this in 80 degree weather. Me and the Freetz I do give lessons on how to be classy.  I wish we had these in Utah.

Whatever you want it to be.

I moved! And sweet black baby Jesus does it feel good to be done. There is nothing like moving a bed that weighs more than your car does with a forearm fork-lift. I still have bruises. I'm pretty sure the only reason I even bought this was because of the picture on the packaging. Those girls aren't even breaking a sweat. They are standing there saying "Hey, look at us. We are moving this large piece of furniture in slacks and its completely effortless! You should buy these!!" Lies. That thing they are holding must be made of foam.

So let's talk about apartment living. The thought of even having a thought of living in an apartment made me cringe, but here I am -And actually really happy with the decision to do it. Its cheap so I can save more to buy a house. It's really really cute inside. There is a pool and hot tub so I have a place to lay out this summer, and its closer to my job which is a good thing because driving more than 10 minutes to get to work is lame. 
I'll post some pictures once everything is in order and not a total shit mess.

P.S. I love IKEA

Hey bitch, wanna suck on my tooth?

i don't know......

But really. Its Monday. I'm bored and blogging from my phone so i dont care much to punctuate.
I missed circa survive tonight BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I did not skip the gym.

I did make 2 more tattoo appointments for my sleevey.

I did lose 5 lbs ( supplements are working!!!!)

All in all it was still a good day!

I managed to get drunk somewhere in the middle.

Dont be a douche bag

Yes you. Im so over people that have that "my shit doesn't stink" attitude. HI! You're not all that. Or a bag of chips. More like a bag of old stale pretzels that no one wants to eat, unless they are drunk. If you weren't such an asshole i'd actually feel sorry for you.

Yes, right in the mustache

Oh shit son- I haven't posted on this gem of a failblog in a while. Mostly because im the only reader. a little update perhaps? Im still working at Browz. I got promoted to SCA and im pretty happy about that because it came wtih a raise. For the first time in my life I can actually say I really like my job. The only downside is that its in Draper but with any luck I can find a nice condo down there.
Im more than likely going to be buying a condo or a small house this year. How grown up of me right? Im no spring chicken so I figure its time to get my shit together because im obviously not meeting Mr. tall dark rich and handsome any time soon. Im pretty much over that all so much that I have even quit going to straight bars. I have more fun at gay bars, is it just me or is it just that gay people are more accepting of when someone acts like a total shit mess in public? Last night for instance... Felt like I was riding on the back of some super charged horse man, really it was just Dino giving me the scariest piggy back ride of my life 1 full block of sprinting before he fell over and ruined his palms and tore a hole in the knee of my jeans. Good times - Thanks JAM.

In other news I cut off all my hair and got glasses and a huge tattoo... I had an identity crisis.